Thursday, November 18, 2010
What's my name again?
It seems as though I am forgetting who I am. Day in and day out, take care of kids, cook and clean house. There is little time (or none at all) for me. I could do things after the kids go to bed, but then I'm cutting into my sleep time. Which I love almost as much as chocolate. There are so many things I want to do. Things I want to learn how to do, like sewing and photography, but when? I honestly don't feel like I have any talents. I may have talents but they are being wasted away. I feel so unaccomplished and inadequate. I haven't finished college, although I attempted it twice. gaaah! I'm so frustrated. I'm lost. sorry, this probably isn't what you want to hear after not posting for a couple months. the new house is great, the ward is good, the neighborhood is wonderful and things couldn't be better here in Waterloo. But I can't help but feel so depressed. I'm in a rut.....again! I so desperately need "me time" but it just isn't happening. there are so many other things running through my mind, that of which I won't bother going into, I have been crying all day. I don't know what to do.
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Mary! This is like a page from my journal that I don't write in. All I can say is what I keep telling myself, "it's just not my season for me and the kids are only going to be little for so long." If you figure something out will you share it with me? I am sorry you are sad. I would bring you chocolate if we were closer. If it's okay me, Grace, and Madison want to come see your new house sometime.
ReplyDeleteoh mary....ALL mother's sympothize with what you are going through!! being an at home mom can be depressing and lonley. i have been going through the EXACT. SAME. THING., and thank GOD literally jerion just started all day school, and i am now going back to school myself (for nursing)....there is a light at the end of the never ending cleaning, self sacrificing, no me time tunnel!!! do what you can to make the time better.....have play dates, have a babysitter every wednesday for 3-5 hours so you can get out and do whatever you want, then get a sitter for fri or sat. night so you and your hubs can do dinner and a movie!! we do that every weekend and i ssooooo look forward to it!! hope this helps, and know you're not alone!! take care~
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I did not finish either, which i want to but know it will not happen any time soon. There are things I love to do, like take pictures but never have the time or energy to do it. I am sorry times are rough right now. I hate when I am in those ruts. Hang in there...Hopefully it will pass soon.
ReplyDeleteMary, I hear ya. I am currently not living up to my own potential, and have been living with my own feelings of inadequacy. I may have finished college (and grad school) but you have a beautiful family and a wonderful life with (as I remember) a great husband. I often feel like I have nothing BUT "me time". So, the grass is most definitely not greener on the other side. It may be hard to find time to do stuff you love, but could you incorporate it into the time you spend with your kids? Like doing photography with them, or sharing your design skills with the kids. I find teaching things to others gives me such a boost in the "I can do it and I am good at it" department. Just remember that you ARE talented and that you have 4 built-in guinea pigs/audience members/adventurers.
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